Into a mist of abyss which is contained by dust of light


The moment when i felt undulation from my inner side into a mist of abyss which is contained by dust of light, "I" was being sucked into the endless space of profoundness. In the space, the sound is bounced by light, now. The sound is touched and traced into All in one, which is the space of center in the middle of between minute undulation, generating a centrifugal circle, like a conic section. And all in the universe contain of three kinds of potential elements(movement between space and time) and two directions(contrast) and multi-directions(coloring). The sound generate shapes and forms by naming them, the metamorphosis of shape becomes meaning or meaningless, there is no fixed shape or form, thus there is no fixed meaning or meaningless. In this abyss, what if i name it "death?” what if i name it "heaven?” what if i name it "hell?” Why do i need to generate sound and name it at all? Is it just to make beautiful shapes or forms? My mother used to say to me "Believe heaven,

   

heaven is in your mind, if you believe it, the gates of heaven will be open, but it will not be easy because you have to choose the narrow way. that's why we name it Belief." My father didn't believe in heaven, and hell as well,

but i did,

in heaven and hell, shine and shadow, enjoyment and painfulness, they occur together, with duplicity and multiplicity. They are not separate. Eventually Questions about meaning emerged from this belief. In facing my father’s death, “I”was sucked into endless space, curious about “I”and curious about“Death”located two extreme poles and faced with two contrasting situations, i became schizophrenic and opened the third eye,
I as observer,
I as I,
I as lover.
 
 
 

 

 

    

On shapes of sound

"I" become impromptu movements like handling, fingering, brushing, lining, spotting black as shadow. and "Mind" becomes a filter for space and time. "I" slowly flow into a melodious line which is a minor chord on white, like a moody aria. "I" and "mind" start dancing together. It is the moment which is observed by another "I" which is the alter ego; dancers vanish behind dance, and dance also vanishes behind the clues of lines, shapes(diagram), forms, contrast, colors, compositions, and processes of abstraction, which symbolize one in all.
   

Potential shapes to name as meanings or meaningless: tree, branch, flower, bird, fish, and red: it can grow to break itself, it can branch to other people whom i love, it can effloresce to make beauty, it can fly to be much higher until it gets dizzy, it can swim on balance in deeper space or not, we are in love, we are in passion, we are in calm beyond madness, we are in red which is duplicity, in paradox.

 

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On the White, the black starts having movement, without any hesitation. The black line never stops moving until the music disappears, just like water, with no force, just moving through, passing through, slowly, deeper, and deeper, into the inner side. It spreads with speed curving, tilting, swing, shaking, throwing, touching; a concentration of one line movement; contemplation of color. Music stops and i become "I" again, and start having distance from the clues of the black line that contain all possibility, and, i feel, think, talk to "I" again, "I" answers to me: “you are what i do.” and stop.“I” disappears:
This is the silence beyond ultimate passion.

Red on gray which is between,

Black has the energy to absorb all like a black whole and death with nothingness, and external silence without future or hope. But it can be let it go of, White will start having movement. How can simply be pure white? As desire, hope, fulfillment? It mixes with black, generating gray, which is the middle and the way to accept fate with desire, to be colored in the essence of new.

Gray is in between black and white, it has breath of air. even though it has lack of motion, because it is toneless. it is growing inwardly calmly, giving space to possibilities of respiring.

Red was small, and hiding, saving the meaning of contrast. Suddenly it moves itself toward and away from the observer to two different sides which are physical and spiritual, yellow(warm) and blue(cold), eccentric and concentric, light and dark, white and black, consciousness and unconsciousness: birth and death: Eternal resistance yet possibility, compete lack of resistance and no possibility. Red, as one imagines it, leads to powerful emotion and becomes rich and more like limitless: it is a sound of burning passion. It is colored by, it is played by, It is composed by gestures of my undulating hand, composing a line.

 

  

 

In this process coloring goes into two great division of inner necessity, submerging orange and violet into mist. It appears as colored by two, which are Warmth or Coldness, Lightness or Darkness. And “I” appear. “I divide from two to three.“I” contrast. “I turn eccentric, and concentric into and out of.“I” become movement between birth and death, sprit and material. “I” connect with both from different dimensions:

I am colored by the in between.

 

 

     
   
     

Fragmental body

(“I” observe the moment of death)

He is going to get in, into the black, beyond breath, with sound, no matter what he hears, it is the sound of calm. It become slow, like the movements of white clouds in blue sky;
If “I”don’t have deep attachment to a fixed body shape, “I”can accept fragmental detachment into space from shape.
If “he” doesn’t have deep attachment to a fixed spiritual shape in his mind, “He”can accept fragmental detachment of his body from shape. He can also accept two extreme poles which are contrasted by “I”,

  

Now, just going through, There is no need to be the fixed shape of a body which has the complexity of hiding behind skin. There is no need to be named meaning or meaningless or to be satisfied by euphoric optical illusion. There is a slice of a moment that becomes all in one, which is a synergetic combination of three things:

first, is Hell/deep-down/cold, shadow where “I”is,
last, is Heaven/high-up/warm, Light where “He” will be,
and second, is On between
where an “Observer/Red”was.

The grand moment where three become all in one:

The grand moment of stepping into the lit place being loved(lighten),

The grand moment of stepping into the shadowed place as a lover(light),

 
 
   
“The ultimate moment of stepping into the place en-lightened as new”.